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 Today's
older adults are active, on the go and still doing many of the things they
enjoyed in their younger years. That includes enjoying sex and intimate
relationships.
Like adults of all ages, you probably want to
continue intimacy with your partner and share your life in a fulfilling
relationship.
A healthy sexual relationship can positively affect
all aspects of your life, including your physical health and self-esteem.
Though movies and television might tell you that
intimacy and sex are only for younger adults, that aren’t true. The need for
intimacy is ageless.
You'll never outgrow your need for affection,
emotional closeness and intimate love. Most people still have sexual fantasies
and desires well into their 70s and 80s. Sex may not be the same as it was in
your 20s, but that doesn't mean intimacy can no longer be as fulfilling or
enjoyable.
Natural changes as you age affect intimacy
As you know, your body changes as you age, and these
changes can affect your sexual relationships and your ability to maintain
intimacy with your partner. Although your body's physical changes are the
changes most often discussed, psychological issues factor in, too.
Physical changes
Testosterone regulates your sex drive whether
you're a man or a woman. And most aging men and women produce enough
testosterone to maintain their interest in sex. Although your body will go
through changes that may make some aspects of sex more difficult as you age,
these changes give you reason to try new positions and techniques.
Men and women experience different changes in their
bodies as they age: -
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Women. Most physical changes in your body are linked to menopause and
reduced estrogen levels. As you age, it takes longer for your vagina to swell
and lubricate when you're sexually aroused. Your vagina also loses elasticity.
Together these can make intercourse less comfortable or even painful.
You might also feel a burning sensation during vaginal penetration or discover
vaginal bleeding afterward.
Longer foreplay sometimes helps stimulate your
natural lubrication. You can try a water-based lubricant; vaginal penetration
helps maintain lubrication and elasticity if done regularly. If you haven't had
sex for a while, talk to your partner about taking it slowly to minimize your
pain or opt for other ways to be intimate.
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Men.
As you age, it might take you longer to achieve an erection. Your erections may
be less firm and may not last as long. Aging also increases the time between
possible ejaculations. Trying different positions may make inserting your penis
easier for you and your partner.
Talk to our doctor if
you're having problems maintaining an erection or reaching orgasm. He can help
you adapt to these changes. Our doctor can discuss medications that can help you
achieve and maintain an erection
Psychological changes
Maintaining your ability to have sex as your age
depends on your mind as much as your body. If you're embarrassed or ashamed of
your sexual needs as an older adult, your anxiety can affect your ability to
become aroused.
Changes in your appearance might also affect your
emotional ability to connect. As you notice more wrinkles and gray hairs, you
might feel less attractive. A poor body image reduces your sex drive because you
don't feel worthy of sexual attention from your partner.
The stress of worrying too much about how you'll
perform can trigger impotence in men or a lack of arousal in women. Taking
things slowly can help you avoid this pressure.
Talk to you partner about your anxiety; He or she
can offer reassurance.
Improving sex as you age
Many older adults say their sex lives improve as
they age. You can too improve your sex life and for that requires more
communication with your partner and small changes both of you can make,
including:
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Expand your definition of sex. Sex is more than vaginal penetration. As
you age, other options might be more comfortable and more fulfilling. Touch can
be a good alternative to intercourse. It can simply mean holding each other. It
can also mean sensual massage, masturbation or oral sex.
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Communicate with your partner. Communication brings you and your
partner close together. Discuss the changes you're going through and what your
partner can do to accommodate you during sex. Maybe a different position makes
sex easier for you, or other sexual activities, such as massage or cuddling,
might interest you. Ask your partner about his or her needs and ways that you
can also be accommodating and Communication itself can be arousing.
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Make
changes to your routine. Simple changes can improve your sex life.
Change the time of day when you have sex to a time when you have the most
energy. Try the morning — when you're refreshed from a good night's sleep —
rather than at the end of a long day. Because it might take longer for you to
become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance, such as a romantic
dinner. Try a new sexual position. You might find one that's more comfortable
for you and your partner.
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Manage your expectations. If you didn't have sex very often as a
younger adult, don't expect to have lots of sex as an older adult. Maybe you and
your partner expressed your intimacy in other ways when you were younger.
Partners who enjoy frequent sex when they're younger are more likely to continue
that as they age.
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Take care of yourself. A
healthy diet and regular exercise keep your body finely tuned. This keeps you
ready for sex at any age. Eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and
vegetables. Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, most days of the week. Avoid
alcohol, as excessive use decreases sexual function in both men and women.
Illegal drugs such as marijuana and cocaine impair sexual function, also.
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Remember to practice safe sex.
Many older adults don't do this because they think they aren't at risk of
sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including AIDS. Contrary to popular
belief, AIDS is not a younger person's disease. People over 50 make up about 19
percent of the AIDS cases. All sexually active people — no matter what age — can
contract sexually transmitted diseases. Stay monogamous with your partner or
practice safe sex by using condoms.
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Believe it or not,
one of a man's biggest turn ons is a woman turning on herself. Be free to
express yourself and your feelings when you make love, while sex is great
without any enhancements, it can definitely be worthwhile to try a few new
things, the next time you plan on making love, find lingerie that hides it or
greatly compliments another feature. Confidence is a great aphrodisiac and is
easier to attain in the bedroom when you look great! Spray a light scented
fragrance and a put on some soft music. Ambiance can heighten just about any
romantic situation.
Talk to
our doctor if you have concerns
You might
be embarrassed to discuss sex with our doctor. But consultation with our doctor
can help you understand the changes your body goes through as you age and how
these changes affect your sexual activity. |
